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READERS' FEEDBACK: Step-children in obituary
See: Step-children in obituary

DearREADERS,

WOW, from the sheer volume of your responses to one of yesterday's column, it's obvious the subject hit home with many. As a step-child myself, Ol' Myrt here racked her brain and came up with the following suggestion for listing one's child in addition to children from a spouse's previous marriage. I thought of listing the children in birth order, and came up with the following wording:

"She is survived by her husband ___________ and his children ___, ___ and ___ ; and their child ___. "

THANK-YOU for your thoughtful and heart-felt email. Here's a sampling:

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From: John Mc
DearMYRTLE,
Your response to the query sounds quite appropriate to me, concise and straight forward. Shouldn't lead to or open further questions in future times.

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From: Nancy B
DearMYRTLE,
I would think it not appropriate to list his children before their own child(ren). How about:

"She is survived by her husband ________ and their child__________. She is also survived by her husband's children, whom she loved dearly, ____, ____ and ____."

This gives first honor to her own daughter while also showing her love for her step children.

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From: Kristie
DearMYRTLE,
My answer to this (as I have a step-child) is that the wording is very important. What's wrong with "She is survived by her husband, her son _____, and her step-children, __________"? This way the step-children don't
feel like they've been left out. I know that for a genealogist this is a landmine, but from experience - you can love a step-child just as much as your own. AND, it's not that much different from an adopted child.

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From: Ann
DearMYRTLE,
When my step-grandmother passed away, her daughter wrote the obituary and didn't mention my father (her step-son) or any of his children. My father was hurt and so were we. She was the only grandmother we knew and we really respected her.

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DearREADERS,
Perhaps all one can do is the best one can do. With the cost of obituaries rising with the times, writing an obituary becomes even more difficult. There will likely be someone upset by the wording one way or the other. During times of stress, people react differently as well. Let's just pray that my dear reader's friend comes up with a good solution that fits her family situation.

Happy family tree climbing!
Myrt :)
DearMYRTLE,
Your friend in genealogy.
www.DearMYRTLE.com


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